Matrescence

Matrescence; the transition into motherhood.

This is a word that hardly anyone has heard of, or you get introduced to when you bring life into this world.

What does it mean exactly, transition to motherhood? It can be felt, seen, experienced in so many different ways and this looks uniquely different for each female.

This is where it becomes interesting. We are told when we have a baby to expect ABC, but when your experience does not feel like the advice given, you naturally compare your mothering capabilities.

Feelings of guilt, shame, isolation and perfection can arise at differing degrees for each mama.

Dr Aurelie Athan describes Matrescence like Adolescence, the transition to motherhood is quite a change. It is a time in a woman’s life when everything changes - her whole identity shifts. When a woman becomes a mother, she splits in two: who she used to be, and the Mother. And unless we honour that radical shift, she will get lost trying to figure out who she is now.

It is imperative that we remember that just like adolescence it looks different for the individual. When teenagers go through puberty we expect them to be irrational, emotional, angry, closed off or scattered.

We give adolescence the space and understanding at this time as their hormones change.

But why don't we do this for mothers?

The societal expectation of having a baby sleep through the night, fitting back into your jeans, keeping a clean house and letting the baby self settle makes taking the space and understanding as hormones rage quite hard.

In Ayurveda (sister medicine to yoga) they really honour the fourth trimester, the 12 weeks post birth. In India mothers are encouraged to stay in bed for at least the first 40 days, where they are sleeping, feeding, resting, nourishing their bodies with the right foods and keeping warm in order to heal.

That's the power of a village isn't it? Having others take care of you and possibly other children so you can emerge healed rather than depleted.

Matrescence mind you is not just in the initial first months or the first year, this is your motherhood journey. A fantastic book that I highly recommend is called 'The Postnatal Depletion Cure' by Dr Oscar Serrallach.

To sum up, I ask you; Have you honoured your radical shift into Matrescence?